20/20: Things I'll Tell Myself for the Next Time

I found the fellowship a lot more challenging than I expected. In way I never expected. Some thoughts if I were to do it again. 


7:30 is a good time to wake up. 
Mourning routine. 
Set daily goals.
Set monthly goals. 
Shoot for them.

Time management. Time management. Time management. 
Time management. 
(What does that even mean? As if time allows itself to be manage.)

Send more postcards. 
Handwrite. 
Talk more walks. 

Don’t bother asking for permission. 
Trust how you spend your time. 
It’s never gonna be the same. 

Don’t spend so much time staying in touch. They’ll be there when you get back. 
People for the most part, are generally good. Stop being afraid of them. 

The hardest things aren’t the things you see coming.
In fact, the most important things aren’t the ones you see coming either.
You don’t even know. You won’t be able to guess. You could never imagine.
And if you could what a limited and boring world it would be.  

When there are no worries about time nor money, thoughts turn existential. Steel yourself.  It gets heavy. 
There will be lonely days. 
Figure out your demons. Forget the things that aren’t your demons. 

The space between the plan and the reality can either be cause for disappointment or for learning. Pick learning. 

Never make the mistake of thinking this, or anything, will last forever.  
Especially when you’re down.

You have your own personal relationship with everyone you come across- the city, the people, tango, writing, a fellowship. Embrace that relationship instead of trying to mold it to what you think it “should” be. 
Accept it. Fight to accept it all. That’s your demon.